The Life I Am Missing

How much of life have I completely missed out on? This is a question I ask myself every day. And how many others will wake up tomorrow and ask themselves the same question. For millions of Americans with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADHD, one of the most tragic losses is the everyday life that happens around us. It is all due to the inattention that plagues our minds.

Hello, my name is Susan Rachele. My life with ADHD is governed by one goal, and that goal is “focus.” The inability to focus is one of the hallmarks of Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. I could be talking to someone for five minutes and not hear a single word they say. I am listening; I think I am even listening hard. But inside my mind there are very different things happening. While my eyes may be focusing on the lips of another, my thoughts wander everywhere. The conversation I am in sounds like it is coming through static.

School years are supposed to filled with warm memories and learning the lessons and skills that will enable you to live life to its fullest. I have no such memories as these. When I was not forgetting even the most basic tools that are required in school, things like pencils and paper, I was avoiding work altogether that I thought would be too difficult or would expose my inability to solve the most basic problems or organize the simplest thoughts I could possibly express. On top of it all, schoolmates are not the most understanding people in the universe.

People will accuse me of not caring, but that is not true. Inside, I am desperately trying to keep my mind and my eyes on the things that are important at the moment. Things like the face in front of me that is speaking, or the task that must be finished. Distraction is the demon that plagues my mind at all times. But if you only remember one thing from this post, make it this: my name is Susan Rachele, and you are not alone. I, Susan Rachele, share your struggle and your pain, as do many others. And you will never be alone.