Susan Rachele On BDD and Losing Weight

Hello everyone, my name is Susan Rachele and I'm one of the millions of women out there who got tired of being obese her whole life and lost more than 100 lbs. At one point in my life, I tipped the scales at more than 250 lbs. Through sheer hard work and determination, I was able to go down to a size 4. That's certainly a huge achievement, and something I should be proud of. However, the truth is, I feel anything but. While my body may no longer weigh 250 lbs, my mind still feels like it's at 250 lbs. This is how Body Dysmorphia Disorder (BDD) works – even in a Size 4, I still feel like I have disgusting thighs and should work harder at trimming them.

BDD has negatively impacted my life in ways I cannot put into words. In fact, until now I still struggle with understanding certain aspects of my behavior. When it comes to BDD, here are just some of the instances where it has influenced or disrupted my way of thinking: I jog 5 miles every day, but I go early in the morning so that others wouldn't have to see me. It's also so I can avoid comments on how I may or may not be doing it properly. I also dislike the idea of someone seeing the flab around my legs when I jog.

At home, I have stopped owning full-length mirrors. I have even stopped looking at them. At work, I avoid social events as much as possible. The idea of just standing there and having to talk to others makes me uncomfortable. All this is tied to how I see and perceive myself. The good news is that I'm now working with a cognitive behavioral therapist to manage this negative way of being.

I'm hopeful as ever that things will work out for the best in my favor in the end. I'm Susan Rachele and feel free to check in on my progress by reading more of my works.

Susan Rachele On The Importance of Self-Care

You are your own worst critic—how many of us find this statement to be true? I'm Susan Rachele and I’ve been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), and Body Dysmorphia Disorder (BDD). I also have a learning disability in the form of geographical dyslexia. The reason why I mention this is to show you how much worse it could be for someone battling with mental health disorders and to be their own worst critic as well. In a word, it's a nightmare, but it's also given me the opportunity to learn more about myself and change the things I'm not happy with.

As someone who struggles with body image, self-care does not come easily to me. In fact, I believe my reaching out to a cognitive behavioral therapist is already the biggest step I've taken in the arena of self-care. Aside from my therapist, I also work with an herbalist and a meditation guru to help me understand and overcome certain aspects of my behavior. I acknowledge that I cannot do this alone. As such, I have put into place many more self-care activities, like low dosage SSRI, exposure therapy, and even ritual prevention. I also plan to maintain therapy sessions as they have provided me the best guidance I could ever hope for.

To everyone who may be reading this right now, please take care of yourselves. Whether you are diagnosed with mental health disorders or just feeling the blues, self-care is important and must be taken seriously, especially at a time like this when the world is moving at a fast-pace. Self-care may also help in preventing such mental health disorders from developing in the first place.

If there's anything you'd like to ask me, Susan Rachele, please feel free to touch base at any time.

Susan Rachele on OCD vs. Anal Retentiveness

For much of her life, Susan Rachele has been called anal-retentive by her friends and colleagues, and her behavior was the source of much frustration in her personal life. However, when she found out that she had obsessive compulsive disorder, she finally understood why she had been acting the way she was.

Here’s a funny story from one of my previous jobs. I was a working as a temp in a startup, and I got assigned to the procurement department. While everyone was out negotiating with vendors, I was fine with just staying behind and reviewing contracts. I found out that I was really good at dealing with fine print when the company’s lawyer ran across me picking apart a contract and said, “Susan, I think you’re even more anal retentive than I am. And I’m the one who went to law school.”

Back then, I didn’t know what anal retentiveness was, so I did my research. I discovered that anal retentiveness was something that people got a kick out of. For example, I was good with contracts and enjoyed looking through them. But each time I got home, everything had to be in place and scrubbed clean. I spent hours in the bathroom, scrubbing the tiles, and swept the floor over and over again. While everyone loves a clean house, I felt as if something beyond the need for cleanliness was forcing me to sweep the floor.

It wasn’t until I sought out a therapist that I discovered that obsessive compulsive disorder was something more than a desire for order in my life. It wasn’t exactly a desire, but an anxiety – a fear that drove me to do things repeatedly. My therapist explained that my body dysmorphic disorder was linked to my OCD as well.

Ever since the diagnosis, I’ve been trying to overcome my OCD. And next time I hear that someone is obsessive-compulsive about her spreadsheets or copy edits, I’ll gently take her aside and explain that she isn’t exactly as OC as she claims to be – just very good at her job.

Susan Rachele is slowly making her way back to mental stability and wellness. Keep visiting this website for more updates.