Susan Rachele: The Good, The Bad of Being A Perfectionist

Hello, my name is Susan Rachele, and I write this blog entry as a way of owning up to my perfectionist tendencies. Some people may view this as a debilitating thing, but I believe that it is still up to the person to make the most out of it.

In my case, my perfectionist tendencies are only but a small part of who I am. Initially, I was diagnosed with PTSD (Post-traumatic Stress Disorder) and ADHD (Attention-deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder). It's a good thing that my cognitive behavioral therapist looked at the other factors affecting my day to day life and found that I actually have BDD (body dysmorphia disorder), OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), and SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder). With that said, you can just imagine how hard it is to function normally with all these disorders. On the one hand, my BDD tricks me into thinking I have so many flaws and my OCD adds to it, causing me to notice every bit of it. My SPD, on the other hand, causes me to withdraw and isolate myself as I get over-stimulated by my environment.

As for my perfectionist tendencies, I find that this happens in all I do. For example, in connection with BDD, I will not do something in front of others if I can avoid it because I know I’ll look awkward and unattractive while doing so. Before I would jog five miles almost every day, but I would go early in the morning so that no one would see me. The perfectionist in me knows I wasn’t doing it correctly as well, so I would go out of my way to avoid being caught in an embarrassing scenario.

Now I am proud to say that I am making progress is battling these disorders, in part because of therapy and other self-care activities.

My name is Susan Rachele, thanking you for reading my blog.

Susan Rachele: When Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Aggravates Body Dysmorphia Disorder

Hello, my name is Susan Rachele, and I would like to share my story living with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and BDD (Body Dysmorphia Disorder). In a way, it would appear that having OCD and BDD is a horrifying combination to have, but I am proof that it's not a hopeless condition. In fact, I work with a cognitive behavioral therapist to help me work on these irrational beliefs.

Can you imagine how OCD can aggravate BDD? Let me give you an example. As someone who suffers from BDD, I avoid mirrors as much possible. I have even gone so far as to stop owning full-length mirrors because I am not happy with the person I see in the mirror. Because BDD forces me to focus on my "flaws" and "imperfections", my OCD heightens it and doesn't allow me to catch a break. As a result, I am forced to narrow in on the tiniest of flaws visible.

Of course, there may also be some good aspects to having OCD, such as having a keen eye for details. Unfortunately, more often than not, my OCD does not serve me and even torments me when it acts up with my BDD. One positive story I can share about having OCD is the first time I ever picked up a contract; I could pick it apart and understand it more than anyone else. A lawyer complimented me on this, but overall, OCD and BDD combined have nonetheless caused additional grief.

As I mentioned, despite these setbacks and sufferings, all hope is not lost. Besides working with a therapist, I have also sought the help of a herbalist and a meditation guru to help me. My name is Susan Rachele, and I hope to share my progress about my disorders in the coming blog posts.

Susan Rachele: Overcoming Learning Disabilities

Hello, this is Susan Rachele, and I would like to share something about me that may not be obvious from the outset. While my appearance may make me look like any other person you cross paths with on the street, I actually have a learning disability called geographical dyslexia.

Have you ever wondered why some people have astute spatial awareness? And why some people have a bad sense of direction? I'm not saying that everyone who falls under the latter is geographically dyslexic, but learning about this disability may help one understand why certain people have a hard time with directions.

When it comes to dyslexia, the first thing people may think of is the reading and writing disorder. People who are dyslexic are confused by letters, numbers, words, sequences, or verbal explanations, and the condition can affect these individuals' social skills and self-esteem. However, dyslexia may also cause problems and confusion with directions, and not even on a complicated level such as reading and following maps—geographically dyslexic people may have trouble differentiating something as basic as left and right.

Imagine the anxiety and panic directional confusion can bring; more so if people who are geographically dyslexic do not know that they are, and they're unaware that there is such a condition. They may live their whole lives blaming themselves for this inadequacy when, in fact, people who have any form of dyslexia should be accorded the support they need.

In America alone, it is estimated that 1 in 10 people—around 40 million adults—are dyslexic and only 2 million know about their disability. What more of the people who have geographical dyslexia, which is less known than reading and writing difficulties?

I'm Susan Rachele, and if you have learning difficulties like I do, I hope you are well on your way to overcoming them.

Susan Rachele On Coping with A Parent with Severe Bipolar Disorder

Hello, this is Susan Rachele, and I would like to share my experience growing up in a household with a parent who has severe bipolar disorder. It is my hope that other people in similar situations be inspired to seek help for this mental illness, not only for the sake of their loved ones' well-being but for their own as well. This is especially true if they have had to suffer the various psychosocial implications connected to the mental disorder.

As mentioned, I grew up in such a household, and found myself on the receiving end of its myriad of aftereffects. Children who have parents with bipolar disorder are in a constant state of fear, anxiety, and worry because of their parents' unpredictable manic-depressive episodes. As a result, they may experience underdeveloped behavioral and intellectual growth.

Generally, the worse the conflict and verbal abuses are, the more severe and worse outcomes will be for the children involved. As children have yet to fully understand what is happening to their parents or why they do what they are doing, the poor state of the parent-child relationship can adversely affect their self-worth and self-esteem.

As for myself, I was initially diagnosed with PTSD (Post-traumatic Stress Disorder) and ADHD (Attention-deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder). Studies have found that PTSD is extremely common in such households due to higher instances of violence, physical abuse, and other similar events. It was also found that these children may develop ADHD as well.

I have since worked with a cognitive behavior therapist to help me cope and heal from past life events. Working with my therapist, she found that I actually have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), and Body Dysmorphia Disorder (BDD).

While these may seem like a whole lot of letters to worry about, I know I've taken a good first step when I sought therapy. My name is Susan Rachele, and I hope you do not hesitate to seek the help you need.